Dinner 14

Leftovers
I knew I was going to be gone for two weeks, so I scheduled two dinners in one week. You may notice that some of the ingredients are very similar to Dinner 13. I tried to switch them up but leftovers are leftovers.
Cabbage salad: It took me forever to get rid of just one cabbage. Here, I added the fruit and the juice of one grapefruit. I mixed the juice with a tablespoon of olive oil and 2 tablespoons of finely chopped ginger.

Even though I wasn't that excited about the food, I was very excited about the guest. I saw him in the observatory tower at the De Young Museum, and I actually asked him to dinner in a little note. He was still a random guy, but at least I wasn't up to the whims of whoever responds to my craigslist ads. This little stomachheart is branching out and trying new things.
Lemon mint salmon and sweet potato surprise: I braised the salmon on a cast iron skillet with salt and pepper, then added fresh mint and baked it in the oven for 15 minutes on 250. Squeeze lemon on it to serve. The surprise: Chop up a sweet potato and whatever other vegetables you want. I used onions, tomatoes, garlic, a jalapeno, and spinach. Saute everything then add the coconut milk and curry powder and chili powder to taste. I added fresh basil at the end and served it over brown rice.

Because I chose my guest, I had high expectations and was nervous that maybe he would think I was a weirdo. But we got along just fine. He's an artist and makes portraits with cross-stitching and black work. He's also apparently a bad cook and manages to bake everything wrong. He does love eating though, and he was really excited about all the items on the menu. The thing that got to me was that there were a lot of long awkward pauses in between topics. This is always a big anxiety when meeting new people, and I usually think that maybe we really don't have much in common and there's no point in hanging out. But then I realized that I shouldn't put that much pressure on it. I just met the guy. Even though it would be great to instantly have good conversation, not everyone is willing to put out (everything) on the first dinner. Sometimes we just have to take our time.Mission Minis: My guest was skeptical when I told him about the project and he wondered what it would be like. Would I force feed him 5 cakes? Just to live up to his fantasies I got a dozen fun-flavored cupcakes from Mission Minis. We ate them all.

The best part about this dinner is that we did take our time. Usually my guests politely give their thanks and head out the door shortly following dessert. But this week's guest didn't seem in any rush to leave. He stayed and we let the conversation take its natural course. Maybe he was into me or maybe not. Maybe I should have made a move or maybe not. I didn't feel any pressure because I hope to see him again. I'll just take my time.

Dinner 13

Meal of the Mind
Honestly, sometimes these meals are a chore. Listening and talking to a total stranger is a lot of work and not always rewarding. But this week's dinner guest, a soft spoken musicologist and 17th century baroque organ player, gave me valuable insight into the worlds of food, music, and dating.
The other kind of salad: Forget greens when there is beautiful purple. This salad consists of red cabbage, radish, and chopped mint with a spicy peanut sauce (2 tablespoons peanut butter, 1 tablespoon soy sauce, sprinkles of red pepper flakes, half a lime and 1 tablespoon fresh mint leaves; add coconut milk until it is creamy).

Insight #1: The trick to getting children to eat their vegetables. My dinner guest said he was a gullible child. Apparently, his mom used to cut up raw vegetables into tiny pieces and call them candy. He fell for it and has loved all raw vegetables ever since. He actually separated the red cabbage from the radishes in the salad and ate the "radish candy" last.
Ciapu or banana soup: I was reading Louis De Bernieres' The War of Don Emmanuel's Nether Parts this week and it mentioned this Native Latin American dish. My variation follows the post.

Insight #2: The argument against the raw diet. One of my craigslist questions was about what restaurant in the Bay Area you wouldn't go to again. My guest said Cafe Gratitude. I also hate that place. Their whole shtick is creepy and forced. My guest told me it's rumored that the employees are encouraged to go on weird spiritual retreats and that many who have reached management positions have decided they can't do it anymore. My guest also had a good reason for cooking vegetables. He studies how the development of musical instruments directly influences the kind of music that is made. So, the position of the keys on a piano or organ is somewhat responsible for great classical compositions. In the same way, he said that modern civilization began when people started cooking. Cooked vegetables and meat altered our brain chemistry and made modern people. The idea comes from the book, Catching Fire: Cooking Made Human.
Raspberry Basil Pork Chops: I braised two pork chops in a cast iron skillet and then baked for about 15 minutes at 300 with the following glaze. Heat 1 tablespoon butter in a pan and add a package of raspberries, 2 tablespoons sugar and dashes of salt. Stir until raspberries fall apart and it thickens. Take off the heat and strain out the seeds. Add two tablespoons of fresh basil.

Insight #3: The problem of dating men in San Francisco. By desert and the third glass of wine, the conversation turned to the toils of love. We both had struggled with dating in the city and this was his explanation. He found it ironic that I had my longest relationship in Madagascar, which seems to be a gay wasteland, but in a city full of gays, I had so far come up with zero. He said that perhaps, because of all the options, no one is ready to take a chance on you, because there might be something better around the corner. In a small town, its easier to settle because of lack of options, but when there are beautiful men everywhere, why not sample them all?
Fruity Crumble: Chop 2 pears and 2 peaches and spread at the bottom of a baking dish. Add some raspberries then top with quick oats, agave sweetener, butter, and cinnamon. Bake for 20 minutes at 300.

Spicy Banana Soup
Ingredients:
2 sliced bananas
2 tablespoons chopped green onions
2 cloves minced garlic
2 kaffir lime leaves
2 tablespoons ginger
1 tsp garam masala
1 tsp corinader
1 tsp cayenne pepper
1 can coconut milk
1 can chicken stock
1 tsp corn starch
dollop of yogurt

Sautee the garlic, onions, and ginger. Add the bananas. Add the coconut milk, stock, and spices, and cook for 20 minutes. Add the corn starch (dissolved in water to prevent lumpiness) and add salt and more spices to taste. Take off heat and serve with a dollop of yogurt.

Stomachheart in Las Vegas

What Am I Doing Here?
Yes, even stomachhearts love Sin City. Or at least sort of. I was there because my brother (who I barely talk to) had an engagement party. It was the first time that my whole family had been in the same place all together in five years. The perfect setting for potential disaster.Gluttony: Piles of food at the M Resort and Casino Buffet. I still have no idea what M means, but the best part about this particular buffet is that you get all you can drink beer and wine.

Actually, not too much drama with the fam. Just the normal you-get-on-my-nerves-I-can't-stand-you-but-I-love-you jabs and omg-my-parents-are-really-drunk-and-saying-embarrassing-things rolling of the eyes. It's weird that my brother is getting married though. He's the oldest kid, so was always the one getting into trouble and now he has his life together. It's really great for him, but being someone who can't get married, it actually made me kind of jealous. Will I ever be able to get my life together?
Also, I do love Vegas. How could a gay man not? Shopping, glamor, campy stage shows, everyone dressed in drag, and food. The weird thing is that despite the absurd gayness of the place, there seem to be few gay people around. There's only one gay nightclub, Krave, and it was mostly empty on Sunday night, while it's straight counterpart, The Bank at the Bellagio had a line all the way out into the casino. And even on the strip, I only ran into a few queers. What the hell happened to all the gays?
So, obviously, no dinner with boys last week, but I guess that's okay. Having my great, crazy family around was enough of a distraction.

Dinner 12

And We're Back

It's been a couple weeks since I've made dinner for a guy. Besides the boring reasons like having a ton of deadlines and such, it's been really hard finding a decent date: mostly people over the age of 40 respond to my ad; the young, cute ones who I invite never get back to me; and one guy who I invited got weirded out that I had "FTM Welcome" in my add even though he didn't know what it meant (seriously? how can you be a middle-aged gay man and not know FTM stands for female-to-male? transphobic prick)!

Mango Kale Salad: I massaged olive oil into all of the crevices of the kale leaves and then sprinkled with fresh lemon juice. I added chunks of mango, chopped almonds and dashes of salt and pepper. Perfect summery salad.

I finally convinced a decent-sounding guy to come over and it was such a relief. He showed up cute, stylish, and with a bottle of wine. I mostly invited him because he said he didn't have a kitchen. This seemed soooo sad to me since my life revolves around cooking food. It turned out he had sort of lied. He does have a kitchen, but it doesn't function at all. The water doesn't run and the gas stove doesn't work. This is almost sadder. It's like a tease.

Quinoa Lentil Cakes: I fully cooked 1 cup of lentils and half a cup of quinoa. Then I mashed them together with a blunt object (a mortar or is it a pestle?) and added fresh cilantro, one egg, and a variety of spices. You can use whatever you like. I used garlic powder, chili powder, thyme and cumin. Then I made patties and fried until brown.

The kitchen was just the first of many complicated food issues of my guest. Since he doesn't cook he eats out a lot and considers himself a food snob even though he has no hand in making it. He blames this lack of cooking skills and need for good food from having grown up in Bakersfield, CA. Apparently it's the Texas of Cali and voted every year as the worst area in the country. You can't buy a single organic or fresh vegetable anywhere (even though the city apparently supplies carrots to the world). He grew up on food either out of a can or from a box and because of that he was a fat kid. He's still haunted by that phantom and works out like crazy to stay in shape.

Chicken Mushroom Stuffed Peppers: I cut one yellow and one green bell pepper in half and stuffed in a mixture of cubed chicken breast, yellow onion, baby portabella mushrooms and goat cheese with sprinkles of salt and pepper. I baked it at 375 for 20 to 25 minutes.

Despite the interesting food talk, I was intimidated. This was a real-life hipster in my kitchen: asymmetrical haircut, septum ring, cute sweater shirt, and fancy ankle boots. He talked about politics and critical theory and brought up Alice Waters whom he assumed I would know because she started the whole organic, home-grown, foodie movement in the Bay Area. He also said: "It's not a scene unless you're seen." I felt a bit over my head. I'm so not that cool, even though I've had asymmetrical haircuts and a septum ring in the past. Oh, and, of course, I own fancy ankle boots. What gay man in the city doesn't? Luckily, he wasn't pretentious as many hipsters are, and he didn't seem to mind my having not ever gone to some of his favorite bars and restaurants.

Apple Plantain Heaven: I fried 2 ripe plantains and a green apple with butter and cinnamon. Then I melted white chocolate and a slice of butter in a double boiler until smooth. I drizzled it on top: soooo yummy.

Overall the dinner was fun and funny, and we got along well. But considering my last dinner I was unwilling to even assume that my guest was at all interested in me. He excused himself when I offered another glass of wine (bad sign), but then he gave me a really nice hug as he left (good sign), and said I should facebook friend him (friend sign?). Such confusing signals or maybe not even signals at all. Doing these dinners has made me terribly aware and suspicious of any words or body language. Even though I can feel out flavors in the kitchen and intuit what strange ingredients will combine well, how can we ever know what another person desires? I'm tired of putting myself out there and getting rejected. I wish someone would figure out my desires and just feed them to me.