Stomachheart in Vermont

Dinner without Desire
For the past two weeks I've been in the middle of nowhere (a.k.a. Johnson, Vermont) doing a writing residency at the Vermont Studio Center. This is a place where you get fed three meals a day, and all you have to do is sit in a beautiful studio overlooking a river and write. My expectations for food and men were high before I arrived. Rumor had it that this place was nicknamed "Divorce Camp" because everyone parties hard and hooks up with each other the whole time.Actually, I did have to do more than just sit in my studio and write. To fund my stay, I received a work study job... in the kitchen. Perfect! I shucked corn, nearly chopped off my finger cutting onions, snapped an endless amount of green beans, and learned cooking secrets from the head chef himself.
And actually I was quite disappointed about the "Divorce Camp" reputation at first. There was not a single boy (out of 50 resident artists) who I was interested in. So much for crazy parties and passionate hook ups.
But I was being really productive and feeling good and happy. I was not even thinking about boys. I realized that life is really different without desire. Boys take up a lot of time. Not just from hanging out with them or texting or whatever, but from just thinking about them. They fill up my head. But here I had nothing to worry about, no one to flirt with, no cell phone reception, so I was completely free to focus on myself and my work. It felt really amazing.
Another reason for my productivity is that three meals of unlimited, delicious food was provided for me daily. Sure, I had to put in a couple hours of food prep here and there, but mostly I just sat down and ate, and then got seconds and ate some more. Not having to constantly cook freed up a lot of time too.
I guess the troubling part is that cutting out two of my favorite things (cooking and boys) made me a way more productive and focused person. What does that mean? Should I give up boys? Should I give up cooking elaborate meals? Should I give up cooking meals for boys? Maybe it was good to have a break for a little while, but what are we without our loves, desires, and vices?